The Book

My memoir, tentatively titled, “It Had to Happen This Way,” is currently in progress. Read an excerpt:

It was 5:30am and I was asleep in bed in the early morning darkness. I was awoken by the light on my cell phone signaling I had a new text message. I’m a light sleeper generally and it doesn’t take much to wake me. But that morning I was especially uneasy after a fitful night’s sleep. The text message was from him. We hadn’t talked in days and I had known something was wrong. What I hoped the text would say was that he was sorry, he had been being an ass and that he loved me. But what it really said was far different. “You are reminding me why I didn’t think I could be in a relationship. I don’t think I’m cut out for this.” I read it once, then once again. My heart was in my throat and apparently a rock had dropped into the pit of my stomach. He doesn’t mean it, I thought. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

I considered my words carefully before I responded. What I wanted to say was, “What the fuck? You sought me out and pursued a relationship with ME! You reminded me time and time again how perfect we were for each other when I got scared and started to ‘pump the brakes’. Now you don’t think you can be in a relationship? That’s bullshit!” But what I really said was something like this. “It sounds like you need some time. Maybe talk to your brother about how you’re feeling. I’ll be here when you’re ready. I love you.” I felt like throwing up as I pressed ‘send’ and the message was gone. I wanted to believe it would all work out–that this was just a bump in the road of our long and happy life together. But somewhere deep down I knew…this was the beginning of the end.

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