Do Facebook posts seem a little too unrealistic at times? A little too saccharine sweet? A little too ‘everything’s happy and wonderful all the time’?
I’ve been struggling with Facebook lately and it has me considering this: Are the selves we present on Facebook our real selves? Or are they the version of ourselves we want other people to see? Sometimes when I scroll through my page, I have this perception that everyone has it altogether except me. I want to show my true self, but I don’t want to be the one Negative Nelly complaining about not living the life of her dreams.
In Sheryl Paul’s recent post Delete Your Facebook Account: A Revolutionary Act, she writes, “The bottom line is that very few people – if anyone – tell the whole truth on Facebook. Most people present a skewed slice of their life which is inevitably their “best”, most polished self. This creates a fantasy world where the message is: Nobody struggles. Nobody questions. Nobody has anxiety. Nobody has depression. Nobody doubts.”
I definitely struggle, question, have anxiety, depression and doubt, but I’ll be the first to admit I don’t always share my true feelings on Facebook. When I’m feeling lousy I generally tend to stay away…or at least not post anything. I don’t want to be perceived as “that person” as my friend Jina says.
But some days I just want to say fuck this shit! I’m feeling lousy so could you all stop drinking the kool-aid and let me have my moment? Don’t you ever feel lousy too?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting everyone air their dirty laundry or use Facebook as a place to be nasty to others. But I appreciate honesty. We all have difficult times in our lives. Our marriages fall apart, our kid gets kicked out of school, we battle life-threatening illnesses, we make big, scary changes, things don’t turn out as we expected. Is it really so wrong to let other people see our fears and disappointments? Why do we feel compelled to hide those parts of ourselves?
I, for one, would like to see more realism. And that starts with me.
My commitment with this blog and in all areas of my life is to be more authentic, more real, more me. But when I don’t feel safe to share how I’m really feeling (on Facebook or anywhere else), I’m not being authentic. I’m being the version of me I want you to see…happy, positive, together. The version of me I think you won’t judge.
But that’s not the real me. At least not every day. I have many ‘good’ days. But some days are hard, frustrating, and downright shitty! What if we could all share a little more of our real selves with one another?
I do love that I have so many positive people on Facebook. And I mostly enjoy their inspirational, upbeat and positive posts. But some days they just don’t resonate with me. And on those days I have to choose whether to be honest about where I’m at or just stay off Facebook for the safety of all concerned.
Today my tea had the best advice: “Appreciate yourself and honor your soul.” For me that means appreciating and honoring even (or especially) when I’m sad, depressed, unmotivated, irritable, or just plain shitty. And part of appreciating and honoring is being vulnerable enough to be honest.
Thanks Yogi Tea! I’m doing my best…on Facebook and everywhere else.
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