Perhaps the title of this post should be “Take Your Own Damn Advice!” I’ve actually written about this recently in my post, “Go On…Have a Bad Day.” But as much as I know this and would advise a friend to do it, turns out I’m not very good at doing it myself.
I have several go to phrases I use when someone is having a difficult time:
“Be where you’re at.”
“You’ll be done with it when you’re done with it.”
“The only way out is through.”
These are not platitudes to me. I really believe them and I think they are helpful when one is up to their eyeballs in resistance. They are reminders to stay present; to not judge yourself. To feel your feelings rather than try to numb, stuff, or ignore them. The problem is it’s not always easy to practice what I preach.
I’ve been feeling down. Unmotivated. Kind of a general malaise. Not for any reason in particular; at least not one that comes to mind. But I’ve been judging myself for it.
As a new life coach trying to navigate my way through building a practice and honing my skills, I’ve found coaching myself to be difficult at times. I have a whole new set of judgments. “A ‘good’ life coach would be more positive. How can I coach other people when I can’t even get my shit together?” And the ever popular, “How do I expect to get what I want out of life when I feel like crap?”
So there I am…fighting how I feel. Feeling stuck…and miserable.
And then I started to cry.
I was sitting in meditation when this feeling of sadness came over me. I’d actually felt it several times over the past couple of days, but I tried to ignore it. I told myself I didn’t have any reason to be sad, so I pushed the feeling away. But as I sat there and let it be without judgment, the tears began to fall.
When I allowed myself to feel the sadness an interesting thing happened. The tightness in my chest eased up…just a bit. The dark cloud that had been looming over me felt a little lighter. I suddenly felt like writing again.
The message here? Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend…with love and compassion. Drop the judgments and feel what you feel.
Well, at least that’s the message for me today. If it resonates, then maybe it’s the message for you too.
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